When Motivation Disappears: Learning to Keep Going Without It.

Naming the Feeling

We all get those days, don’t we? The days where the simple act of getting out of bed feels so monumental that you almost want to cheer and text everyone you know when you do!

Or the days when you are sat in front of your computer and the words aren’t coming, the ideas are as dry as the Sahara and the more you try, the more blank your mind becomes.

Sometimes it can be that the world is just unbearable, and everything or one is getting on your wick.

So you start to panic, over think and catastrophise. Perhaps you are slipping into the dark depths of gloom never to return. How come you can’t muster up the energy to smile, be pleasant. What is going on! Where has that spark, that motivation gone and is it forever lost in the seas of despondency. People will hate you. They will think you are a failure, useless and so on and so forth…

Motivation Isn’t Meant to be Constant

The trouble is when motivation is in sparse supply that’s when that mean little voice begins to get extra loud, but as humans, busy and often over worked, we simply can’t feel motivated all the time. Whatever the reason, motivation is not a constant. It ebbs and flows. Sometimes we have buckets of it, perhaps we slept really well the night before or maybe the sun is shining warmly on us, giving us that can do feeling. I can conquer the world!! And we assume that it’s going to there forever.

But on the days when it ebbs (and it will) we being to worry, assuming there must be something wrong. Maybe there’s a reason, we’re on the verge of flu, due on or the test we revised so hard for was a complete and utter disaster. Or there could be no discernible reason that we can see.

So on these days I wonder if rather than becoming harsh, adding to the layers of guilt we may already be wrapping ourselves up in. We could perhaps come at it from a different way.

Rather than asking ‘Why can’t I get motivated’ we could say ‘What might my body or mind be asking for right now?

Keep Going - Gently - Self-Talk Matters Most when Motivation Fades

If you tend towards people pleasing then you tend towards harsh judgements. Rather than see those moments of mistakes, stuckness or even failure as part of the journey you may see them as proof of what an awful person you are. No wonder people are cross at you, your mean little voice says, when you can’t even get off your arse and get on with even the simplest of tasks.

And then it carries on spiralling and taunting, ‘You’ll never be any good, what’s the point of you even trying. Letting everyone else down as usual. Getting it wrong, being difficult, making a fuss.’ I’m sure you have your own version of this inner critic, this harsh judge of your humanity.

Losing motivation is not a permanent state, it will flow again but trying to force it is often counter productive.

Small steps, little moments, tiny expectations.

Today I accept I’m not going to conquer the world but I will try to send that email after taking a shower. Because it is OK to move slowly. Compassion rather than judgement.

And bit by bit you show yourself that it’s OK to have down days, lack lustre and dull days. You learn to trust your inner voice when it tells you not to worry, this feeling will pass. and you will feel ready to move forwards in a time and way that belongs to you, and not the voices of the past. The voices of other peoples’ expectations, of their goals and dreams and wishes. Ones which never belonged to you but you took on regardless. Letting them weigh you down, define and shape you.

Rediscover You - You’ve Been There All Along

When that motivation is waning, ask yourself

• Does this still matter to me?

• Am I chasing approval or purpose?

• What may feel meaningful to me right now?

Sometimes we don’t have a lot of choice, a project has to be in, a meeting held, a friendship sorted but by being gentle with ourselves, and honest with others we can keep going. Just not in the head down, soldier on way we have been used to.

This potential new way is paved with kindness, acceptance and honesty. With small steps. Slow movement and curiosity about what is going on within us.

Feeling unmotivated or stuck doesn’t mean you have failed it might just mean you need a moment, you need support, you need kindness. From others but most importantly from yourself.